Rough fucking weekend.
It happens sometimes. I fall apart. Usually it happens when I’m not working or in school or doing anything at all. Then I wasn’t taking my pill. Then there’s the ever-present drama in my friend group which happened to mean that I couldn’t see any of my friends all weekend. Plus it was my birthday, which has been a disaster since I used up all my birthday loveliness on my 16th. Throw in some nasty fights with my sister and a social overdose last week, and it was the perfect storm. It’s been worse than anything I’ve ever felt before, and it isn’t going away. Regret, doubt, anxiety, fear. All the bad things I usually feel multiplied by ten then minus all the good stuff. It’s been absolutely miserable. I could use this space to write more about why I’m feeling this way. Instead I’d like to thank my parents for being so chill (no fights with Helen!) and my grandmother for providing sanctuary and my friend Kristen for being so supportive. I can’t say how important it has been to know that I’m loved. Hopefully this will pass soon. I’ll be back on my medicine and back in Oxford at work on Wednesday. SYI can’t come soon enough, so I’m going to watch the documentary from last year to tide me over until I’m reunited with Renee, Charles, Jeremy, Melody, Hope, Nathaniel, and Elliot.
![[Off screen] he had these pale, rather unexpectedly pale, eyes and a very small nose. And he wore glasses because he had very weak eyes. They didn’t seem to have any power of penetration at all.
- Ivan Moffat
DOSE EYES.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4p6nzRaf61qhs5k0o1_400.jpg)
